Vanna's Note: This website is being hosted on Empty Movement as a resource and piece of fandom history, now that after over 20 years, the original address, www.mindspring.com/~khabal/www/rst3k.htm, is no longer active. This was one of the legendary sites for Utena shitposting content back in the day, and a browse through some of these cursed fanfics will tell why. Aside from this note and updated links to the Utena Fanfiction Repository and Blood Soaked and Honor Bound, the site is hosted exactly as it last was. Permission to host this site was obtained by Chris in the Triassic Period. Enjoy!
Welcome to the Satellite of Revolution, also known as "Duelists in Space" . . .
My name is Chris Rain. (That may or may not be the name on my birth certificate. At least it isn't something that sounds like it was stolen out of "The Necronomicon." But I digress.) I am a rabid fan of an anime series called "Shoujo Kakumei Utena," or "Revolutionary Girl Utena". However, as I wandered the great unknown, typically called the Internet, I discovered that other fans were even more rabid than I. And while many of these fans created great websites and did wonderful fanart and wrote excellent fanfiction, not all of these fans were rabid in a good way. Some created websites that made me want to poke my eyes out with sticks. Others drew fanart that made me weep in anguish.
And other wrote fanfics.
Ah, yes, the fanfics.
As I struggled painfully through poor spelling, atrocious grammar, and gratuitous ego-stroking via the ghastly practice of Self-Insertion in these fics, I discovered a powerful urge rising in the depths of my soul.
The urge . . . to riff . . .
To cut through all the melodrama, the works contained on this website are MSTings. The term was coined from the show that made the practice famous, "Mystery Science Theatre 3000." There's an old song line that goes "Take a sad song, and make it better." In this case, it's "Take a bad fic, and make it better."
I'm not going to explain the whole process, since all you need to do is read it for yourself. Down at the bottom of this page, you'll find links for resources on both MSTing and "Revolutionary Girl Utena," if you find that you want to know more. Have fun!
By the way . . . I am an adult and I assume that anyone who views this site is also an adult. You will find dirty words here. Do not claim that you have been scarred by my language. The fics will scar you all by themselves without any help from me whatsoever.
All synopses listed here are presented in the spirit of amusing sarcasm for the most part. Please don't ask why I wrote something; just nod, smile, hopefully snicker, and read the damn MST. You'll understand a lot more once you do.
 Episode 101: "High Altitudes"
The entire school goes on a ski vacation in Colorado and meets a Author Avatar snowboarder who makes out with Saionji. Much OOC behavior on the part of almost everybody in the cast except for Nanami, which may be the most disturbing thing. The Avatar also possesses a Rose Signet, for reasons which are completely unsatisfactory to anybody who knows a damn thing about the show.
The author's Utena site, with links to her other fanfiction pages, can be found at Revolutionary Girl Utena Fanworks.
Episode 102: "Touga Meets His Match"
A romantic (term used loosely here) story that has an Author Avatar who makes out with Touga (after claiming to be a "good girl") yet is also attracted to Miki. Two endings are provided, evidently to make everybody (except for the riffers) happy. This Avatar also winds up with a Rose Signet, which ultimately has no bearing on the story except to give the Avatar a reason to ask Miki to teach her how to use a sword.
This fic was found at Blood Soaked and Honor Bound.
Episode 103: "My Adventures With the Cast"
The author clearly states that the story is a self-insertion, but that doesn't help too much. It goes along mundanely for the most part without any outrageously obnoxious points, aside from an unexpected moment wherein the Avatar rips off another anime in a scene that could best be described as "poorly thought out." Fortunately, the Avatar breaks the pattern of the previous two fics and does not get a Rose Signet. This one is also unusual in that the fic is not as pretentious as other examples of the genre. Also, the author's webpage is really very cool to check out. Her fanart is quite nice, and there's a picture of the cast in "chibi" mode that you just have to see.
Her page can be found at We Finally Meet.
Episode 104: "Wacky Adventures"
Not just one, but two Author Avatars from hell show up at Ohtori with their pet lobsters and receive cheap versions of Rose Signets. One of them goes on to duel Utena in a scene that is very inadequate in describing why the duel takes fifteen minutes, despite the fact that Utena normally polishes off her opponents in a third of the time. The whole fic is full of the type of completely meaningless drivel that happens when people confuse "surreal" with "wacky". "Surreal" is artistic. "Wacky" isn't.
This mental bootscrew can be found at Wacky Adventures with Revolutionary Girl Utena! If you want to see the site that they claim they didn't rip off, visit Blood Soaked and Honor Bound.
Episode 105: "The Observatory Of Forbidden Pleasures Series, Story One: Touga's Lesson"
This is a "lemon" or "hentai" fic, which simply means that it's intended for adults. However, most stories of this type are notoriously tasteless, and this particular gem is no exception. It is also "yaoi," which means that it involves homosexuality, in this case between Touga and Akio. And if all of this hasn't put you off your Tater Tots yet, the fic also involves bondage and descriptions of genital size that would choke a horse. You've been warned.
This exercise in perversion is hosted at Sympathy for the Devil.
Episode 106: "The Daily Life..."
After the unmitigated horror of the last fic and a discarded episode, I turned to this nugget of citrusy joy as a kind of sorbet to cleanse the mental palate. Written by a regular on the newsgroup alt.fan.utena as part of the "Utena Lemon Extravaganza," which spawned a couple of other naughty fics that will find their way here in time, this particular lemon focuses on Anthy's "real" job. Hint: She doesn't just water the roses.
Episode 107: "The Great Outdoors"
No fewer than three regular readers suggested this particular fic as a target. Give the fans what they want, eh? In the fine tradition of illogic set by "High Altitudes," the main characters go on a camping trip with a blatant self-insertion. Much meaningless activity occurs. We find out that Saionji has a weird taste in pets, Ruka has "issues," and Mikage reverts back to his arsonist roots.
This charming exercise in nature therapy for the mentally ill was discovered at Purple Rose Gekijou.
Episode 108: "Revolutionary Girl Asuka"
Thanks again to the fanbase for providing me a target. This charming fic is basically a retread of the first two episodes of the series, but with a couple obvious changes. Primarily the fact that the duels suck and Utena's been replaced with none other than Asuka from "Neon Genesis Evangelion". Other substitutions include a swap of Touji for Saionji, Hikari for Wakaba, Kaji, Misato, and Ritsuko for the Seitokai, and Folger's Crystals for Akio's brain. (No, I'm kidding about the last one. But the other ones are real.) Also, if you thought Anthy could be detached and unemotional, wait until you see none other than Ayanami Rei as the Rose Bride. Talk about excitement.
This Evangelion-centric fic was found at Furikake's Page of Evangelion Fanfiction and Gundam Wing on Acid. No, I'm not kidding about the name.
Episode 109: "High Altitudes 2: Grizzly Bears and BMWs"
Yes indeed, after a long hiatus, the grand epic "High Altitudes" finally has the second of seven threatened--uh, promised chapters. If you thought the first chapter was meaningless, this one will leave you stunned, feeling empty and somehow defiled. Akio gets introduced, ridiculed, and basically degraded about as badly as the rest of the characters did in the first chapter. Oh, and Saionji is still suffering from extraordinarily out-of-character portrayal.
As before, this author's Utena site and other fanfiction pages can be found at Revolutionary Girl Utena Fanworks.
Episode 110: "Cypriene Lost"
Take the movie "Dark Tide". Add Utena, Wakaba, Tatsuya, and possibly Touga. Mix well in the mind of an author who's apparently already known for inflicting OOC behavior on hapless characters. Season with too many commas and repeated uses of the word "yet". Serve with a side helping of LSD, because precious little will help at certain points.
This fic was brought to my attention on the Utena and Touga Fanfiction mailing list, at Yahoo.com
COMING SOON . . .
"First Knight" is on the back burner, but at least I've got several small and richly MSTable fics gleaned from various sources on the Internet, as well as from the alt.fan.utena newsgroup. Since I know that several regulars of AFU who also happen to write such fics also happen to frequent the SoR, I'll just say . . . you probably know who you are, and you probably know I'm gonna go through your fics like cheap beer through a frat boy. Live in fear. (Or live in anticipation. I know some of you people are pretty masochistic when it comes to your fics.)
I told you that you'd find links down here!
Mystery Science Theatre 3000
 Shinji's Vault of Anime MiSTings (SVAM) Go here. You will like it.
Web Site #9 Between this one and SVAM, you've got the most complete collection of MSTings I've ever been able to find on the Internet.
Shoujo Kakumei Utena
The Utena Encyclopedia A great site for basic information on "Revolutionary Girl Utena". *NOTE*--This site has been having a LOT of routing troubles, and has been suffering a lot of downtime lately. Sometimes when IP addresses change, it takes a while for the address to propagate to the net, or internal nameservice problems at individual ISPs keep it from resolving the hostname and cause it to return a DNS change error. If you're unable to access the site right away, give it a little while and try again. Or you can use duellists.maison-otaku.net or ikkoku.maison-otaku.net/~mikage instead, since both of those are mirror sites for The Utena Encyclopedia. (Many thanks to utena@duellists.tj for bringing me up to speed on the situation.)
The Utena Fanfiction Repository This is just what the title suggests--a collection of myriad Utena fanfics. Since the closing of Project Rose Signet and End of the Innocence, Alan Harnum has taken over maintenance of the fanfic collections formerly hosted on those sites. Worth a look!
Take My Revolution . . . PLEASE! A site that deals with lots of funny, amusing themes in the show, and does so in a far, far better way than "Wacky Adventures" ever did.
If all else fails, open any search engine and type in "MST" or "MST3K" or "MSTings" or anything of that nature, and "Revolutionary Girl Utena" or "Shoujo Kakumei Utena" or anything of that nature. Seek, and ye shall indeed find. Lots.
The Silverlands I have been so horribly, embarrassingly remiss in not having this link up before now that I ought to be dragged facedown over hot flaming coals and then fed to ravenous scarab beetles. This is the main page for Dianna Silver's website, which contains her excellent fanfics that are set in or inspired by such sources as Shoujo Kakumei Utena, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon, and White Wolf's World of Darkness. It is due to her friendship, riffing contributions, and sense of humor that I've been able to survive MSTing all of this horrible stuff, or indeed ever got up the courage to start doing it in the first place; she's more than due the acclaim she deserves.
After several requests, a link banner for the Satellite of Revolution is now available. If you find that you can't save it right from this page, email me at the link below and I will send it to you. The image is not actually transparent, as you will find when you view it outside this page--it simply has the Satellite's background.
Lo and behold, there is now an image gallery! It's currently quite small, but will hopefully expand in the future. Meanwhile, there's a really beautiful piece of fanart waiting to be viewed. Hit the Satellite Gallery and check it out!
I got very bored one day and created The Utena Drinking Game. Try it out at your next party, or the next time you sit down for some serious Utena-watching.
Update note, 12/09/03: I am not dead, comatose, or wandering lost in the mountains somewhere, subsisting off the half-frozen corpses of hapless fellow airline passengers. I would say that I'm suffering from "writer's block", except that this is more like "writer's absolute constipation". I still plan on doing more MSTing . . . it's just getting that spark back. Sigh.
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